Twice Wrong
by Last Marauder of Five
Summary: "Kids, I don't think you're going to like this part, but listen to it thoroughly. It's very important." Barney is in trouble, and it's worse than anyone could have imagined, even himself.
1. It's Time

**Author's note:** This is very AU, so don't worry about when it's set, you'll understand it throughout the story. Also, this is my first try at a HIMYM story and my first story in quite a while, so I hope it's okay :) Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own How I Met Your Mother or any of its legendary characters.

* * *

**Chapter One - It's Time**

When their father began telling those stories that supposedly led up to how he'd met their mother, Luke and Leia hadn't been very happy about it. Who wanted to listen to his stories? They were all crazy tales that spoke a time long past, a time that didn't even really matter anymore. They started in the year 2005, 25 years ago - it might as well be a lifetime! But as the plot thickened, they started getting attached to the characters like they weren't their own family, like they didn't know how it all ended, and soon they actually started looking forward to story time.

That's why Luke and Leia one day found themselves sitting on the couch, looking fixedly at the door while they waited for their father to get home. Truth to be told, by then, they didn't care about how their father met their mother, so they couldn't just ask her to continue the story. It had to be their dad, he was the only one who knew what happened next.

"Dad, tell us what happened next!" Both kids exclaimed, not giving their father any room to even breathe as he got home. Sighing, Ted nodded and, after saying hello to his wife, he sat down and got started on the story telling.

"Okay, where was I? Oh, right... Kids, I don't think you're going to like this part, but listen to it thoroughly. It's very important."

* * *

It was so normal for this to happen that no one even paid attention. Of course, it was all very discreet, too, but that was mostly just protocol. At Altrucell, an employee - especially one of the high-ranking ones - being arrested was no more than routine. For Barney, even, it was routine. Public urination incident aside, he every single time he'd been arrested (and those cases weren't even on his file) it'd been at Altrucell. To get that high meant accepting some things, making some compromises, and a bit of time inside an interrogation room was a small price to pay.

He couldn't take his eyes off the ground this time. Even though no one even turned their attention away from their jobs, Barney felt like the whole company was staring at him, judging him. Now, he could understand what Marshall went through every time he went to read a magazine in the bathroom, imagining what everyone was thinking. _Oooh, he really screwed up this time, huh? I bet he's not coming out of this one, _one of the ladies would think, her tone more amused than condescending. _Imagine what's going to happen to this one... Prison, maybe worse, and we know how long he'll last in there,_ that was Bill, a colleague of Marshall's. Of course, Barney knew no one was even looking, they never were, but he couldn't help his imagination. What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

"Dad!" Leia complained, slamming her fist into her leg in protest. What had Barney done? What happened next? With their Uncle Barney, there was never any way to tell, and hadn't their father just said that they weren't going to like this story? That had to mean that something bad happened to their favorite uncle, he knew how much this would upset the two little fans. "You can't just cut the story like this, we're... We're curious!"

Luke nodded in agreement, shooting his father a pleading look with his early-teen puppy dog eyes that still had some infantile appeal. "You have to tell us what happens next!" He begged, taking his sister's hand for emphasis.

"Sorry, kids, it's going to have to wait until after dinner. Your mom isn't going to be happy if all the food goes to waste because this story was much too long." Ted gave the kids an apologizing look and stood up, wondering if maybe he'd been telling them too many stories. They seemed to be much too hooked up on them, more than he expected when he started.

Huffing, both kids stood up and made their way to the table, sitting in their places with their arms crossed over their chest in a protesting gesture. "What's wrong?" Their mother asked them, frowning and giving Ted a questioning look, wondering what her husband had done to upset the kids so much. They'd been so cheery a few minutes before, anxiously waiting for their father's arrival, and now they just seemed frustrated. Had they been expecting something from their father that they wouldn't tell her?

"Dad won't finish the story because we need to have dinner." Luke explained, pouting. "This one is supposed to be sad or something. He said we wouldn't like it but that it was important."

Ted shot his wife a look, confirming her suspicions. Like the kids, she'd had a thorough eduction on the long story that led to their meeting, though she never seemed to get quite as hooked up on them as the children seemed to be. "You'll get back to it soon." She said, instead of jumping in to defend them like she usually did. "Just have your dinner first and let your father rest, he's had a long day at work, I trust."

Luke and Leia looked at each other, then at their mother, confused and with growing suspicions. By then, they'd already caught up on the telepathic communication the adults seemed to have every once in a while, and they knew that something was up. However, they didn't argue, they just nodded and got started on dinner, pretending not to notice it when their father slipped out and went up the stairs to his room. They had a feeling they knew what he was going to do, but asking about it would be pointless. Ted always denied it, but they all knew he missed his bachelor times, his adventures looking for "the one", his legendary outings with Barney, everything. Who wouldn't? It seemed like he'd had the time of his life, even if he hadn't found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

While his wife and kids ate, Ted dug through his things, looking for something he hadn't even thought of in years. It was still there. After so long, it was still there, just as he had left it. Part of him had expected, even hoped, that it'd have vanished, been erased from existence. Ted picked it up, feeling the old dusty leather under his fingertips, and he sighed. He'd hoped he never had to tell his kids this story, that he'd find a way to explain everything without having to go through this particular chapter, but he knew now that it was impossible. This had marked everyone's lives too much for him to just skip it. His fingers traced the fake golden lining for a few seconds before he built up enough courage to actually open the little book he was holding, allowing a paper sheet to fall off. Squeezing his eyes shut to keep himself from reading the words that were still imprinted there, he picked it up and placed it back inside the book.

"Dad? Your dinner is getting cold!" Leia called him from downstairs. It was time to go back, to allow time to progress closer to the moment he'd have to continue his story.


	2. Beginnings

**Author's note:** I want to give Ella, ImperuimWife and Steffiegee, my first reviewers, a big thank you! I wasn't going to post this yet, but you guys really made me want to give you some more to read :)

* * *

**Chapter Two - Beginnings**

His mistake was to leave the book on the table. Never had Ted imagined that in the amount of time it took him to go to the bathroom to wash his hands so much would happen, but then again, he underestimated the curiosity of his children.

Shocked and betrayed faces stared at him as he came back, and though at first he couldn't tell why, it didn't take him long to connect the dots. The paper he'd stashed back into the book was laying on the table, and the book itself was open on the very first page. "Dad, how... Why?" Luke asked, frowning.

He couldn't run away from this anymore, he knew that. They'd found out about one of the worst parts of the story and unless he explained himself, Ted didn't doubt that his kids would never speak to him anymore. Going against every cell on his body, he picked up the paper and made himself reread it, taking in Barney's messy handwriting, which was even worse on this specific letter. The memory of when he'd gotten this was still vivid in his mind, but he couldn't allow himself to relive the moment, not yet. He had a story to tell, a story that would explain every single word written on that piece of paper.

_Ted,_

_I know you're pissed, but can't you just put that aside for one moment and help me out? All I need is for you to let Marshall at least talk to me, he's not even part of any of this. I promise I'll leave you alone if you do this, I promise... I'll do anything you ask, Ted. You know how much I need Marshall's help right now._

_And... I'm sorry, Ted. I know you can't forgive me, I know you don't want anything to do with me, but since this might be the last time I get to talk to you (yeah, I won't be sending any more letters unless you tell me it's okay, I got the message) I guess I have to come clean. You'll always be my bro, no matter what. I never meant to hurt you, and I know I broke the bro code again, and I know everything else didn't help my case, either, but... I guess intentions don't matter that much after all, do they? I'm really sorry, Ted, really, really sorry. I know you don't want to be bros anymore, and I guess you're right, you don't even need me anymore: I completed my challenge, you learned how to live. Congratulations, Teddy boy._

_I'm going to stop writing before things get too mushy, they're bordering on chick flick already._

_Your bro,_

_Barney_

"Kids... Forget about dinner, I have a story I have to tell. Don't judge me, or do, I... I'm still not sure I don't judge myself every time I remember this."

* * *

Everyone was gathered at MacLaren's, everyone except for Barney. For the second time, he was banished from the group, and for the second time, everyone felt the difference in the atmosphere. They all pretended not to notice how they laughed less, smiled less, and even talked less, mostly out of respect for Ted, but it was hard to hide how they kept glancing at the empty chair, expecting Barney to be there and make a dirty joke out of a perfectly normal situation, or high-five one of them for something they'd said or done. But Ted was working hard to keep everyone's attention off the fact that Barney wasn't there. After all, the banishing was his doing once again, no one else really agreed with the measures he'd taken, but he considered his friend to have crossed the line one too many times and gone too far. He believed himself to have seen what Barney really was for the first time, and that now he could finally really let him go.

Ted was trying, he was really trying, to prove to everyone that Barney wasn't really needed. He told jokes like there was no tomorrow, he brought over several dates in a poor attempt to make up the entertainment Barney's quests for bimbos always provided, and he even went as far as trying to be Robin's wingman so that no one missed the 'wingman action', as he called it. But he couldn't help the small relief that came to him when he answered the phone and heard Barney's voice on the other end of the line, though he pretended not to notice it and he shut it out as fast as he could. "Barney, will you -" He started, already raising his tone despite the fact that his ex-friend had done nothing yet to deserve it.

"Ted, I... Ted..." It sounded like Barney was freaking out big time. Had Ted not known better, he'd have imagined that he was even close to tears. "I'm in trouble, Ted."

Of course, there was still a part of Ted that cared about Barney, that wanted to hear him out and give him a chance, but he didn't listen to that part. He shut it out, locking it away with the relief he'd felt, and he forced himself to be cold and to only remember all the times Barney had screwed him over on purpose and without meaning to, he built a bubble of anger in his mind that soon popped and made him lash out at Barney. "No! I'm done dealing with your messes, Barney. Don't call me again." His voice came out even more icy and harsh than he meant it to, but he didn't care. He was done with Barney.

* * *

"What?" Both the kids exclaimed, glaring at their father. How could he have hung up on Barney when he clearly needed help? How could he have been so cold and uncaring towards one of his best friends? That didn't sound like their father, the kids just couldn't imagine that situation. "That was him calling from the police station, wasn't it?" Luke asked, shifting on the couch as he tried not to judge his father too soon.

Ted nodded and ran a hand through his hair. "I was so angry at him I just... I couldn't make myself help him. I told everyone it was nothing important, just Barney being Barney, and I made sure to keep everyone away from him.

"Throughout the next few days, Barney sent me letter after letter. He'd never tell me any details, but he told me he'd been arrested and that he needed my help, or at least Marshall's if I really wanted nothing to do with him." He stopped talking for a moment and frowned. "I have no idea how he managed to get the letters sent, but I guess... He's Barney." After a second, he shrugged it off and got back to the story. "I only answered a few of them, always telling him to just leave me alone and deal with his problems on his own, always reminding him of what he'd done and putting him down... I didn't even tell Marshall Barney wanted his help.

"It was only weeks after I got this last letter that I found out just how bad things were."


	3. Secrets Unveiled

**Author's note:** Thanks for the reviews ImperiumWife, Steffiegee and SweetImagination15!

* * *

**Chapter Three - Secrets Unveiled**

Ted's gaze dropped to the little book once again and he fiddled with the heavy cover, opening it just slightly only to let it fall once again, as if he were debating whether or not to actually look inside. The kids were staring at him, they had been for a while, waiting for him to continue his story, to give them more details, but this tale was one that really got to him, it really hurt for him to get every word out, and Ted couldn't ignore it like he did with some other stories. "We were all hanging out in my apartment..."

* * *

Sunday mornings were the laziest mornings of all. Usually, it was just him and Robin, and they'd eventually talk, maybe watch something on TV, but most of the time was spent with each one of them doing something different. This morning, though, was different. Marshall and Lily were going to have to go out of town for a friend's wedding later that day, so they all decided to get together early to do something before the couple had to leave. Get up early on a Sunday? Of course, that plan didn't work out very well.

They did all get together, but no one had the energy to actually go out and enjoy the day, so even after several pep talks from each other, they ended up not leaving the house, and instead they just got started on normal Sunday morning activities: Lily and Marshall cuddled on the couch, Robin ate her cereal, and Ted tried his luck with his weekly crosswords puzzle. "Hey, Marshall?" He called his friend, making his way to the couch. "What's latin for query?"

"Quaere." Marshall answered, glancing at the amount of letters needed. However, as Ted left, Marshall's eyes followed the newspaper and he caught a glimpse of something that sparked his interest. "Hey, Ted, come back here a second." He asked, his eyes still trained on the news that he'd spotted.

* * *

"What your Uncle Marshall saw was this." While he told the kids the story, Ted had opened the little book and flipped through the pages until he found the article he'd cut out from the newspaper a long time before. It was yellowed and a little faded, but perfectly readable, a bit too much for Ted's taste. It was like everything from that time was taunting him with their inability to just disappear. Ted himself just couldn't get rid of them, he needed to keep it to remind himself of the mistake he'd done, he owed Barney that much. Since the time a bus had hit him and he could have died thinking his best friend hated him hadn't been enough to teach Ted a lesson, then maybe if he kept everything from that time as a reminder he wouldn't make the same mistake again.

His gaze dropped to the page and his sight unfocused for a second as allowed himself to remember more vividly the moment that he saw what Marshall had seen, the moment the headlines penetrated the thick wall he'd built around his brain the previous weeks regarding anything about Barney. He could have spent hours just staring at it, but he knew the kids were dying to know how the story went, so he passed it on to them, watching their reaction as their eyes skimmed over the extensive article.

**Goliath National Bank secrets found**

**High-ranking employee arrested and questioned**

Although the article was quite long, it had very few details. As the kids already knew, Barney's job involved dealing with a lot of international secrets and deals that were never released to the public, or at least they never were supposed to. All they could conclude with certainty from the text was that Barney was being charged with several major crimes (the article somehow managed to release little to no information about the charges) and that his chances of getting out of that were slim, for it looked like GNB only wanted to get rid of him, claiming that it had no association whatsoever with the activities that Barney conducted in the name of the corporation.

"That was how we found out that the situation was much worse than we imagined, but this... This was just the tip of the iceberg. We couldn't possibly imagine just how bad things really were."

* * *

"Ted!" Marshall shouted, moving away from friend and deeper into the welcoming arms of his wife, who'd read the article over his shoulder. "You said it was nothing! You said he was going to be fine, that we shouldn't worry about it, that it was just Barney being Barney!" He'd seldom seen Marshall act like that, he'd seldom seen him look so angry and even betrayed. Did Ted really deserve such an outburst from his friend? Had he really done such a bad thing to Barney? He was extremely torn about this, since Barney hadn't even told him the gravity of the situation in his letters. But then again, why would he think Ted actually cared after all the awful things he'd said? What Barney had done was basically beg for his friend's support, or at least for him to let Marshall help him out, and he had said that he really needed Marshall's help. And Ted had just ignored him, too angry to think that maybe things were worse than he was letting on, like they usually were when it came to Barney and really serious things.

Robin walked up to them, worry clearly displayed in her face. She hadn't read the article yet, but she'd caught onto the fact that Barney was in big trouble. "Ted..." She frowned, unsure of what to say. "Ted, if this is like the bus accident all over again..."

"It's not." Ted stopped her. What was he supposed to do now? Robin did have a point, back when the bus accident had happened, some of Ted's first words to Barney had been an apology. What was he going to do now? Could he forgive Barney again? Ted had to admit that all of a sudden, their fight seemed silly and childish, but this time he didn't feel the same urge to forgive Barney, though he was afraid that he was dead wrong about it and that later he'd figure that out and find that he'd abandoned Barney without a good reason when he most needed him. "But I'm going to see if I can visit him."

* * *

"So he was in big trouble, you'd ignored his request for help, and you still weren't ready to forgive him?" Luke asked, frowning at his father. What was their fight even about? He didn't think anything could justify such a behavior, but he was trying to hold off on judging his father, he was usually a pretty decent person, even if he wasn't as nice as their Uncle Marshall.

Ted, seeming to have caught onto his son's train of thought, nodded and sighed. "It was really bad fight, and I just didn't feel like this was reason enough to forgive him, I wasn't quite there yet. But I was one step closer than I'd been before, I was ready to actually face him."


	4. The Visit

**Author's note:** Thank you Ella, Steffiegee and Cee.A for your reviews, and thank you to all who favorites and/or are following the story! This chapter is a bit lighter than the previous ones (:

* * *

**Chapter Four - The Visit**

"So you went to visit him?" Leia tried to get the story back on track, anxious to hear the outcome of all that. They all were, aside from Ted, who was still dreading telling the whole story. "Please tell me you went to visit him, dad, you..."

Cutting her off as quickly as he could, Ted exclaimed. "I did! I didn't want to, and maybe I went for the wrong reasons, but I did."

* * *

Everything about that situation seemed wrong. Ted felt as if somewhere along the course of his life since his fight with Barney he'd taken a wrong turn and somehow ended up here, in this room, waiting for his friend (were they even still that? Ted wasn't sure, though from what Barney had said in that last letter, it sounded like he still considered him his friend despite everything). If he already felt that way, then he couldn't imagine how Barney would feel, being on the other side of the glass. Even if Ted's life felt different, maybe even more empty without his friend, he was still on the winning side, nothing had changed that much for him. But the same couldn't be said for Barney. Since they'd parted ways, his whole world had been turned upside down, and no one had been there for him, no one, no matter how much he asked. The more Ted thought about it, the more he felt like he should have at least checked in with Barney before, even if he hadn't actually known that he'd been arrested. The least he could have done was ask if he was going to be okay in the end.

Where was all his anger when he needed it? Ted stared anxiously at the door ahead of him, trying to summon up his old feelings, trying to be angry once again. He couldn't do this if he was going to feel guilty for ignoring his friend, he couldn't show up there only to break down in front of Barney, that'd be bad for both parties. So Ted did the only thing he could, he tried to remember why he was so angry at Barney, he tried to incite those feelings once again.

It was all working very well until Barney walked in, looking somehow like a shadow of himself until he raised his eyes and saw that Ted was there. Something sparked inside of him and he ran up to the telephone, though as soon as he brought it to his ear, he hesitated a bit, remembering that Ted wasn't necessarily there to help him out or even just talk to him. But it was good seeing him anyway. "Hey Ted." He tentatively greeted.

"B... Barney." Ted started, stuck somewhere between apologizing and screaming at him for getting himself into this mess. But he couldn't do either, he wasn't ready to apologize just yet and he knew better than to think that screaming at Barney would do him any good, especially in this situation, so he settled for something else. "You've got to tell me what happened."

Most of the hesitation seemed to leave him as he realized that Ted was actually interested and perhaps even worried about the mess his friend was in. That was something Barney really hadn't expected. He hadn't even expected Ted to be there at all, not after all the letters he'd sent back and after he didn't even reply to the last one, the one where Barney actually opened up. "I screwed up. The awesome, legendary Barney Stinson actually screwed up." He shrugged, as if that were enough explanation. Then, seeing that Ted still hadn't understood what he meant, he added: "At work, I made a... Teeny tiny little mistake."

"A teeny tiny little mistake? Barney, how is this teeny tiny? This... This is huge! Look at where you are! Did you even read what they wrote about you? Do you have any idea..." Ted trailed off, realizing that he was the unaware one, he had no right to lecture Barney no matter how he was acting about all this. Slightly embarrassed, he tried to change the subject. "What's your job, anyway?"

"Please." Barney laughed. A few details about his job that he'd never shared with anyone, that he wasn't even allowed to, had probably already been revealed by the media, but that didn't mean he was going to start revealing his own secrets.

Ted shot his friend a "get serious" look and sighed. "Barney, I want to help you." Did he? Truth to be told, he hadn't known that until the words left his mouth. After this pause to sort out his thoughts, seeing the confused and carefully hopeful look on Barney's face, he continued. "But if you won't tell me more details then I just can't!"

For what must have been about a whole minute, Barney just looked at Ted, almost afraid to believe what was happening - he even considered letting the telephone fall off his hand for dramatic emphasis, but decided against it. Was Ted serious about wanting to help him? He'd lost hope that this would happen weeks before. "You want to help me?" Barney asked, his voice so small it could barely be heard.

"Yeah, Barney, of course." Of course? Ted cursed himself for saying that. How could Barney possibly have known that Ted still cared about him when he himself didn't know that? He'd thought he was completely over Barney, that he would never want anything to do with him again, yet here he was, offering to help him get out of whatever huge mess he'd gotten himself into. It wasn't as easy to get rid of Barney as he'd thought it would be, he just kept coming back somehow, and truth to be told, as he found himself face-to-face with his friend once again, he didn't think it was such a bad thing. In the end, Ted had to admit that he didn't really want to get rid of Barney so much, no matter what he'd done. "Just tell me everything and I'll... I'll get Marshall to help you, too. We're all on your side."

* * *

"So you forgave him?" Leia inquired, raising an unbelieving eyebrow at her father. "After all you did to show him you didn't care about him, you forgave him just like that?"

Ted shook his head. "No, I didn't forgive him. I thought I would, but I didn't. This time it was just too much." Had it really been that bad? Now, looking back on their fight, he couldn't help but think he'd overreacted, even if things had been serious. "But seeing Barney there just made me realize that I couldn't leave him like that, I was still his friend even if I was furious at him. Some things were greater than that."

Luke was shifting impatiently on his seat, feeling more free to show how interested he was on the story now that he wasn't so angry at his father anymore. "Okay, so what was it? What was Barney in trouble for?"

Earlier, he'd thought that the worst part would be telling his kids just how cruel he'd been to Barney when he most needed his help, but now he was beginning to realize that it got worse. This, telling them what Barney was in trouble for, was worse than that, he felt like he was reliving everything, and he wasn't sure he could take it. "Well, uhm..." A little sound distracted him and he realized that he had the chance to postpone this a little bit more. "Hang on a second, kids."

The two simultaneous groans weren't enough to stop him from answering the call. As much as he usually hated leaving his kids frustrated because they didn't know the end of a story, he'd take any excuse to leave this one unfinished, so he stood up and went to answer the call. "Hey, Robin, did you get my message?"


	5. Come to Light

**Author's note: **Thanks for your review, Cee.A! What Barney did to get Ted so angry will be explained soon (:

I'm no lawyer, so there might be some (or many) mistakes in this chapter. I'm using a few posts from Barney's blog as a base for this part, so I think it should be okay, but if it's not, I'm sorry! And I'd really like to hear everyone's opinion on this part of the story so that I can make up my mind as to where I'm going to take it (:

* * *

**Chapter Five - Come to Light**

The answer took long to come and for a second, Ted thought it might not come at all. He wasn't sure why he'd sent Robin, of all people, that message, but it'd felt like the right thing to do, the right person to come to for help, even, though he wasn't quite sure what he wanted from her. For now, he was just glad to be away from the kids, away from the pressure to tell a story he really didn't want to tell. "I did." She confirmed, her voice having that firm tone she got whenever she was dealing with something tough and she had to roughen up a bit. "Ted, what are you going to tell them?"

"I already started the story." He explained, letting out a bit of a sigh. Maybe he shouldn't have given in to their incessant pleading for stories, maybe he should have waited until he got a reply from Robin, but at the time, he'd felt like he was ready to tell them everything, and that was a window of opportunity he didn't think he should miss. How long would it take for it to come back? "They asked me to tell it earlier today and I... I couldn't put it off. They're loving all the stories, Robin, I just... I knew I'd have to tell them, and I thought I was ready. Thought being the key word here."

Even through the phone, Ted could feel Robin's shock, and truth to be told, he couldn't say he'd feel anything different from that were he in her place. He'd have expected himself to put it off for a very long time. "But Ted..." She started, then stopped. It was pointless to argue about it now, they knew too much for him to just wrap it up and make it seem like he'd left nothing out. "What did you tell them?"

"The truth. They should know." Ted's voice showed none of the doubt he felt. Would the kids be happier if they didn't know? When he started telling them the long novel of how he met their mother, he knew he'd eventually come to this point, and at the time, he thought it might be better if he just found a way to skip this chapter. However, nothing was decided, because Ted thought that there was no one better to deal with that problem than Future Ted. And now, although Future Ted wasn't completely sure what would be better, he'd made the opposite choice.

"If you need my help... You can count on it literally anytime." Robin's voice wavered just slightly, but no one who didn't know her very well would have noticed it. When Ted didn't jump in right away to ask her for her help, she let out a small sigh. "Good luck, Ted. Call me if you need anything, really."

"Thanks, Robin." Ted was sure he was going to need both her help and luck later on, but for now he felt a little better, he felt like he could continue his story. "I have to go, I left the kids with a bit of a cliffhanger. I'll call you later."

"Bye, Ted." With that, the line went dead. Ted let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, preparing himself to go back to the kids, go back to reliving a part of his life he'd much rather erase from history, from his memory. But that wasn't an option, he couldn't forget and he couldn't let the kids believe in a lie. He had to tell them what happened.

Ted walked back to the kids, who quickly turned their attention back to their father, clearly not letting him off the hook: they wanted to know what happened. "Kids, this is what Barney told me..."

* * *

"So we're back to being bros?" Barney's eyes were shining once again, their usual glint that was so typically Barney having reappeared, but they were looking at Ted so shyly that it was hard to even understand the clashing emotions behind them.

"Yes, Barney." Couldn't he understand that what was really important wasn't this? That what was really important was for him to tell him what happened so that Ted could do something to help? "We're bros, and bros help each other, so you have to tell me what happened so that I can do what any bro should do and help you."

"We're bros again!" It seemed like Barney could barely contain his happiness, and even though Ted still hadn't really forgiven his friend, his excitement brought a smile to his lips. Still, Ted wouldn't lose focus, he couldn't, because he knew Barney would very quickly if he kept this up, so he gave his friend a look, pressuring him to start telling his story and it didn't stop until he settled down a bit. "Right. Okay. So, I was a bit distracted the last few days at work - just a small glitch on my awesomeness level, and I may have... Let some classified information leak. It wasn't much, nothing that Altru - GNB couldn't handle, but it was enough for people to start looking more closely at the company's activities and they may have found some... Irregularities. Blame was assigned, I took the fall, and here I am."

That wasn't all, Ted knew that. Marshall worked with Barney, he knew how many secrets that company had, even if he didn't know what they were because he wasn't high-ranking enough, and so Ted also knew that there were a lot of illegal things going on there. Also, the last part of the story had been much too rushed. Barney was hiding something, that was quite clear. "Barney, I need to know everything. I mean it." Ted wasn't going to let him keep secrets, not now.

"What they... What they found weren't exactly minor infractions like in most companies. Al - GNB deals with a lot of secrets, from a lot of countries and there's a whole market behind that. It works day and night behind the curtains, and everyone is involved, Ted, and I do mean everyone. But to work with that, especially in Altruce- GNB... It's dangerous Ted, and I don't just mean that someone might sneak into your house and kill you to get information - but that's a risk, too." Barney paused and closed his eyes, remaining silent for so long that Ted worried that he'd given up. But then, just as he was about to press his friend for more information, Barney continued. "Basically everything there is illegal. The deals, the organization, the commerce... We sell weaponry to other countries, too. You're fine as long as they're on your side, but they aren't on my side anymore, Ted. I'm being charged with... I'm being charged with espionage and treason. All the rest you probably read on the papers? It's true, but it's not the real issue. They're using that as a cover because they want to get all of this done quick and easy, they don't want anyone to know about this kind of secrets." For the first time in their whole conversation, Barney looked truly freaked out, truly afraid of what might happen, though Ted had long realized that since he began really going deep into the issue, Barney had lost his more playful demeanor, with jokes and exaggerations, and snapped into a more serious mode that hardly ever showed for more than a few seconds. "Ted, you know what the sentence is going to be."


	6. Aftermath

**Author's Note:** Thank you Ella, LeilaTheGalaxyDefender, ImperiumWife for your reviews, and a special thanks for HIMYM Lovah for the suggestion!

* * *

**Chapter Six - Aftermath**

Silence took over the room. Ted was itching to call Robin, to tell her to help him because he just couldn't keep going, but he controlled the urge, not wanting to interrupt the moment the kids were taking to absorb the new information. They'd known beforehand that the story wasn't going to have such a lighthearted plot as some of the episodes their father told them, but still they felt like this had just come out of blue. How could Barney - the always awesome Barney, the guy who always seemed to find a way out of trouble - be in that mess? Their minds just didn't want to accept that.

Leia was the first one to snap out of it, and she raised her eyes to meet her father's only to see a bit of a mirror of her own feelings hidden there, clearly as well concealed as it was possible. The emotions, though, were too powerful to go unnoticed. "Dad, did he...?" Leia couldn't complete the sentence.

"Don't." He shook his head. Ted wouldn't skip ahead and tell his kids how the story ended, they needed to know how everything led up to that, how it changed them all. There were some stories that he told his kids that weren't so important, that he could just have skipped to the end and there would be no problem, they'd understand the rest, but this one wasn't one of them. "You'll know everything when I'm done with the story."

After a few more seconds, Luke finally recomposed himself and he gave his father a nod, a suit that was hesitantly followed by his sister, silently telling Ted to continue the story.

"I think you can imagine the reaction I had to those news..."

* * *

"What?!" The words escaped Ted's mouth before he could control himself. Was he really hearing what he thought he was hearing? No, this couldn't be true, it just couldn't. Barney was Barney, and sure, by then they all knew that what he did was quite illegal, but he couldn't end up in prison, much less have a worse fate than that. It was just the kind of thing that didn't happen, that the Universe never allowed. "Barney..." Ted had no idea what to say. How was a person supposed to react to news like that? Ted felt like the information was trying to enter his brain, but it just kept getting kicked out, and the few times it actually managed to enter it, he just couldn't process it.

"I think Marshall might be able to help me, but..." Barney shook his head, confirming Ted's suspicions. The news hadn't been exaggerating, his chances really were very low. Even Barney, with his talent to find ways around everything, apparently couldn't find a way around this.

All Ted could do was to stare at Barney and wish that the glass separating them would just vanish so that he could give his friend a hug, no matter how un-manly they both considered it to be. Though Ted wasn't sure how he knew that, something told him that there was even an article on the bro code that said the a bro should never hug another bro. That only served to show him how this just couldn't happen, he couldn't lose Barney. A few minutes ago, he'd been so sure that he could just keep on living without his friend, but now he couldn't imagine sitting at MacLaren's and not hearing Barney's absurd stories and theories, not having the bro code constantly be quoted or not watching insane plays unfolding and somehow working. All that was a big part of his life and it couldn't just go away. How would anyone be able to get through the day like that, with a void where Barney used to be? "You'll be okay, we'll find a way to get you out of this." Ted assured his friend, giving him the most confident look he could muster, which probably wasn't that confident given the news he was still trying to assimilate.

Barney just chuckled and shook his head. "Ted, Ted, Ted... Do you really think there's anything my awesome mind hasn't thought of that you can?" He raised an eyebrow at his friend, a hint of a smirk on his lips. He really thought Ted had already done everything he could - he'd come, he'd restored their friendship and he'd tried to support Barney. What more could someone ask for? Ted wasn't even a lawyer, and he didn't know the first thing about how Barney's job worked, even if now he knew more or less what it was, there was no way he could actually do something more to help. "But it was a good try, Ted."

"No, Barney. I mean it, I'm going to get you out of this. No matter what it takes." If there was something he'd ever said that he really meant, it was this. He wasn't going to let anything bad - well, anything that bad, he'd already let several small bad things happen to his friend, and the feeling was mutual, Ted knew that very well - happen to Barney. But before he moved on, there was something very important that he felt more than ready to do. "Look... I'm sorry I de-bro-ed you, I'm sorry I said all those things, and the letters... I'm sorry."

Even though Ted remembered how things had gone the first time something like this happened, he still expected Barney to scream to at him, to throw it all back on his face or something along those lines simply because in some level, he felt like he deserved it, even if he still thought that what Barney had done justified his bad behavior. But instead of doing any of that, Barney smiled for a second, then he let it completely fade. "Ted... I'm sorry I broke the bro-code again. And I'm... I'm sorry about everything else, too." His voice was just as small as it'd been the first time he said those words.

"It doesn't matter anymore." Ted assured Barney, giving his friend a hint of a smile to see if he could get the same reaction out of him. It wasn't hard, for it seemed like this, Ted coming to talk to him, forgiving him and offering to help, was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. "Let's just focus on getting you out of this."

* * *

"What were you two fighting about?" Luke asked, seeming to have recovered from the news his father had given them. "Was it Robin again?" It was no secret to the two kids that Barney was in love with Robin, and with the reaction Ted had when the two of them hooked up, they couldn't discard the possibility that it could happen all over again.

"You'll understand soon enough." For the first time since he'd began telling this story, Ted had a plan. Usually, when he sat down to tell his kids the more important stories, he knew how he was going to do it, he knew what order to put things, he knew what to say and what to just discard, but with this story, it was a struggle to even get the words out, so having a plan, even such a simple one, was quite an advancement to his eyes.

A little ring alerted him of what he'd been waiting for, and he hurriedly went to check what the message was. _Don't worry, Ted, I'll be right over. _"Oh, hey, what a surprise." He nervously laughed, trying to pretend like he hadn't just texted Robin. "Your Aunt Robin is coming over! I guess maybe she can explain to you two why Barney and I were fighting!"


	7. Dig Deeper

**Author's note:** Thank you ImperiumWife and HIMYM Lovah for your reviews! The idea for this chapter (and for the next one) came from HIMYM Lovah's suggestion, so I'm dedicating it to her (:

* * *

**Chapter Seven - Dig Deeper**

The wait was driving them crazy. Maybe it hadn't even been that long, but the kids had to know how the story ended and Ted wouldn't say one more word until Robin arrived. Was all this really about Robin? Was that the reason why he wanted her to come over? Sure, he claimed she'd invited herself, but the kids knew that he was lying, that he'd asked her to come over. Why? That was the real question.

"Sorry, I came as fast as I could!" Robin exclaimed as she calmly entered the house, receiving an eye roll from the kids. They didn't need to look too closely to know that she'd actually taken as long as she could. It seemed like she also didn't want to tell them the story, and that couldn't be a good sign. "So... Ted told me you're on the story of... Barney's arrest. That's a... That's a very good one!" She awkwardly commented.

The just kids stared at her for a moment, unsure of what to say, and Ted jumped in to try to save her, only then realizing what kind of situation he might have thrown Robin into. "I was just about to tell them why Barney and I were in a fight. Maybe you'd care to, you know, pitch in?" A little push in the right direction couldn't hurt, right?

"Oh, uhm... Right, I think I remember how it all began..."

Robin was about to launch into the story when the kids shook their heads, indicating that they didn't want to hear it. Yes, they were curious, but what was more important now for them was to know more about the main storyline, to know how it ended. "We want to know what happens next in the story." Leia explained, putting on one of her sweetest tones to try to get her aunt to tell them what their father was so reluctant to. Robin was a tough person, surely she could handle it?

Seeing the almost pleading look Ted was shooting her, she gave the kids a bit of a suspicious smile and sat down across from them. "How about this, I'll tell you kids about the first time I went to visit Barney." Neither Leia nor Luke looked completely convinced of that idea, but she received no word of protest, and that was good enough for her. After a quick glance at Ted just to confirm that she could tell them this story, Robin got started on her chapter. "It was just a few days after your father's visit..."

* * *

Ever since she'd decided that she would come to visit Barney, Robin had been feeling very anxious, but she never imagined that when it came down to it, she would feel that strongly about it. The problem was that she wasn't anxious in the sense that she was looking forward to it. No, she just had no idea what to expect from this visit, she had no idea what kind of behavior to expect from Barney, and it wasn't just because he was in jail, but also because of the last day they'd spent with each other...

_It was a night like any other, and the five of them were hanging out at MacLaren's, drinking and having fun. Originally, they'd been celebrating something - Barney's laser tag championship victory, maybe? - but they'd long since forgotten about it, and truth to be told, it hadn't even been that important to begin with, just another excuse to do what they usually did._

_"Guys, I have an announcement to make." Barney said as he returned from scouting the bar, using a tone that already alerted everyone of the fact that he was going to say something he, and probably only he, deemed important. "There just aren't any hot women in this bar. Not even married hot women! Not even lesbian hot women! They're all just... Gone!"_

_Robin rolled her eyes at her friend and gestured for him to sit down. She'd had to listen to his complaints about this for what seemed like an eternity before Marshall, Lily and Ted arrived, and by now her patience was running really short. "It's one night, Barney. Just sit down and find something else to distract yourself with!" She had no idea how much she'd later come to regret those words._

_As the night progressed, Barney seemed to try and get closer and closer to Robin, and seeing that she didn't back away, he started getting a bit more daring. At first, he was just shy and tentative, as if he were asking her permission, but as she reciprocated, he started to take it to the next level. They kept on talking to their friends, trying to pretend like nothing was going on, though they were visibly more distracted and there were some unexplainable reactions from the two of them. However, everyone was too distracted and too drunk to actually notice anything._

_When the next day came and Barney woke up on Robin's bed, though, they weren't so lucky._

That was what began the long story that was Ted's fight with Barney, and Robin couldn't ignore that she'd been the element that started everything, just like she'd been what tore their relationship apart on Ted's thirtieth birthday. Things had been so strained between the two friends after the first round of the fight that Robin had just avoided being in the same room as them, and as a result, it'd been several weeks since she'd seen Barney.

* * *

"Okay, fine." Leia said, sighing. It seemed like they really had to know what the fight had been about to understand the story, and though she really wanted the plot to progress, it seemed like they'd have to backtrack a little. "Tell us about the fight."

Ted and Robin glanced at Luke for confirmation and, though he didn't seem very pleased with the idea of switching stories, he nodded. "Okay." Ted began, shifting uncomfortably on his seat. "So... Barney and Robin sleeping together again really was what started it all, but the problem was that I... I may have overreacted when I talked, well, screamed at Barney about it, and I may have said some things that were a bit out of line..." The memory of the things he'd said to his best friend in the heat of the moment made Ted wince. He remembered it all too clearly, the look of hurt on Barney's face, the way it didn't even make him feel bad until months later, even the exact words he'd said. But there was no need for Luke and Leia to know what had transpired in details, so he wouldn't tell them.

"Barney was hurt, very hurt, and the way he dealt with it only made things worse: he tried to get back at me in any way he could. He screwed me over with work things, he stole dates from me, he played tricks on me... Most of the time he didn't even really realize it, he thought it was just his normal behavior, but I didn't know that. I was already close to snapping completely at Barney when the worst happened..."

* * *

It wasn't really all that surprising that Heather wasn't at MacLaren's, where Ted had told her they should meet. What was surprising was where he actually found her. "Barney! Out! Now!" He hissed, deviating his eyes from the scene. When he didn't hear the sound of people moving around, he screamed: "Now!"

"Ted, this is my apartment!" Barney protested, though he already started putting on pants and staggering towards the door, knowing that he was probably not going to get to continue and that Ted was not going to leave him alone. And he was right. Ted wasn't sure whether Barney had texted him to come over with the intent of having him see this or if he'd just forgotten that he had people coming over when he picked up Heather, but either way, Ted was furious and he was not leaving.

"Out!" When he heard the door closing, he followed after Barney, rage making him skip the lecture that had already formed in his mind about how stupid Heather had been to fall into Barney's trap. He couldn't even really think about his sister individually, his mind was stuck on what had just happened. "That's my sister! What the hell are you doing?"

"Your sister? Ted, there's no way that's your hot sister..." Suddenly, Barney's eyes grew wide and he seemed to start to panic a bit. "Ted, that's your hot sister Heather! I didn't mean to... I didn't know..."

However, Ted wasn't listening. "This is it, Barney! You're the most immature, selfish and... And hypocritical person I've ever met! Isn't this breaking one of your stupid rules? You know, I took a lot from you these last few weeks, I let you screw me over time and again - I lost thirteen job offers, thirteen! - but this is the limit, Barney! You're always looking for it, and now you found it!"

This went on for several hours, but Barney hardly ever fought back, he just tried to apologize or to end the fight. Ted, however, didn't even notice his friend's unusual behavior, he just took advantage of it to take the fight to places where it normally would never have gone. Even this fight, though, couldn't last forever and it was after one of the few times Barney tried to fight back that the words were finally said. "No, Barney, don't 'Ted, bro' me. We're... We're not bros and we're not friends anymore."

* * *

Like it had when Ted told the kids what Barney was being charged with, silence took over the room. Even Robin, who already knew the story and hadn't been really involved in the fight, became more quiet, adapting to the new atmosphere of the room. The kids had a strong reaction when Ted told them the story of his thirtieth birthday, too, but this one seemed worse somehow, maybe because they knew what had happened soon after their fight.

"And how did your visit go, Aunt Robin?" Luke asked, breaking the silence.

Ted noticed that for once, there were no questions or comments about the story he'd told, and he knew that it meant something, but he said nothing about it, he just let Robin take over once again, glad that the kids were focusing on her now. "Well..."

* * *

Now, there was no running away from it, and Robin knew that. The fences had been mended between the two friends, so she didn't have an excuse not to come anymore - not that it'd ever even been a real excuse. Besides, she couldn't imagine how disappointed Barney would be if he got there and there was no one waiting for him. She had to stay there, she had to face him. What did Robin have to be afraid of, anyway? The worst that could happen was for Barney to blame her for his big fight with Ted, which was already over and done with, so he couldn't be that angry anymore.

She was stuck in her mental argument with herself, trying to figure out why she felt so uncomfortable with the idea of talking to Barney, when he walked in. Robin raised her eyes to see him, anxious to know how he was, and she was actually relieved by what she saw. She'd been expecting to find him like Ted had, in that very un-Barney state that he'd described, but he seemed to be back to himself and, clothing aside, he looked just like always had - that is, until he walked closer to her and she was able to see the bruise on his face. "What happened?" She asked, forgetting that he couldn't hear her. When he raised an eyebrow at her and picked up the phone, Robin laughed silently at herself and followed the suit. "What happened, Barney?"

"Didn't Ted tell you?" He frowned, a bit confused. After a second, though, he realized what Robin was talking about and he raised his hand to touch the bruise almost in instinct. "Oh, that? I guess I won a bet I wasn't supposed to. Anyway, Robin... How are things on the outside world? Have you been a good wingwoman for Ted?" There was something there, something he was trying to hide, and Robin knew that.

"We've all been a bit too busy for dates, Barney." For the last few days, all they'd done in their free time, and sometimes even at work, was try to find a loophole or anything else that would get Barney out of this. They all woke up and had breakfast while debating and researching, and when they came home from work, they picked up where they left off. Every time they tried to do something fun to distract themselves a bit, they just couldn't do it. But of course, she wouldn't tell Barney just how seriously they were taking this, she knew that even if he wouldn't show it, he'd be worried about them, and that wasn't what she wanted. "Now come on, Barney, spill it. What's the real story behind that bruise?"

"First the police, then Ted, now you... Why do people always assume I'm hiding something?" Barney seemed truly puzzled by that. "I'm not hiding anything, Robin. Sometimes a bruise is just a bruise, you know?" His tone showed every little bit of his annoyance.

Robin was ready to give up, to just let it be and change the subject, when she remembered what she and the gang had talked about before she came here. All they knew about life in prison was what they'd seen on TV and heard throughout their lives, and every conception they had of it might be wrong, but if it was right, then Barney just wasn't cut out for it. Maybe he had the wits to survive there, but everything else? Everyone was afraid of what might happen to him if he made the wrong enemies.

"You know, Barney..." Robin wasn't sure if this would work, because she knew very well that Barney never slept with the same girl twice, though he had broken that rule with her, but it was the best card she had to play. If there was one thing that would get Barney to talk, it'd be something like that. "I like a man who can fight." She twirled her hair between her fingers, wondering if Barney knew that this part was really true. "But you what I like even more than that? Hearing their stories."

Despite the fact that even if he wanted to sleep with Robin again he couldn't, not until he was out of prison, Barney fell for it. A thousand thoughts seemed to flash into his mind at the same time, and it took him a few seconds to sort them out, but in the end, he caved. "Alright, alright... No one can resist hearing my awesome adventures. Here's what happened..."


	8. No Rest for the Wicked

**Author's Note:** I'm sorry it took me so long to get this up! I had a crazy week, and the fact that I was having some trouble with this chapter didn't help. Anyway, here it goes, I hope you guys like it!

Also, I'd really like to hear what you guys want to happen in the next chapters to help me get some ideas - I love suggestions!

Thank you ImperiumWife and g2t8 for your reviews :)

* * *

**Chapter Eight - No Rest for the Wicked**

"So..." Leia pressed as Robin trailed off, hoping against hope that she wouldn't act like their dad. Robin had always been the strong one, the one who told them the hard truths even when they were hard for Robin herself. Surely she could handle this, whatever it was? "What happened? Barney did tell you, right?"

"Uh? Oh, yeah, he did. Sorry, kids, I got distracted." That story wasn't particularly bad, or at least Robin didn't think so, but now she understood why Ted was having such a hard time telling the story - thinking about that time was painful, it was a chapter of their lives that they all wanted to forget. "Where was I?" At the kids' glare, she forced her memory to turn into hyperdrive. "Right, so this is what Barney told me..."

* * *

Gambling was one of the things Barney did best. Sure, he'd once lost all his life savings on gambling, and sure, it was an addiction of his that should definitely not be fed, not with how hard it'd been for him to quit, but how else was he going to survive in there? Negotiating, planning, manipulating, lying, those were his skills, what he was really good at, but that'd only get him so far. He needed someone who could have his back if it came to some kind of physical conflict, because he knew he was useless when it came to that, and his only idea of how to do that was gambling.

For days, whenever he got an opportunity, he'd start up a game with someone, and he raised the stakes as high as he could to make an impression, build up a reputation. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and Barney was extremely proud of himself, but there was something he hadn't counted on, something that maybe he should have imagined, but which he didn't factor in when he was devising his plan: attracting attention could be a very good thing of a very bad thing, and winning against too many people meant that he'd probably win against someone he wasn't supposed to.

Up until there, everything he'd told Robin was true, though he'd changed the gambling part for bet - gambling was betting, after all - because he was perfectly aware of the fact that she knew about his addiction. The news were what happened next.

"Hey, Stinson!" Who was calling him? Barney didn't recognize that voice, but then again, he didn't know everyone very well yet. Slowly and carefully, he turned around, hoping that it was just someone looking for a game of poker or blackjack, not trouble like he could already sense that it was. "You think you can go around ripping everyone off and get away with it?" Now Barney recognized him. It was one of the people he'd played against the previous day, and one who'd really lost a lot in the game. Getting a bit scared, Barney started to look around in the hopes of finding someone who could help him out. "Looking for the guards? They're not going to come help you, my boys have got that covered."

My boys? That was exactly what Barney didn't want to get involved in, he had enough problems without getting caught in some kind of gang war. "I wasn't ripping anyone off, but if you want to play again..." Barney was cut off by a punch that knocked him off his feet. Conversation wasn't going to win him that one, that much was clear, but then what was he supposed to do? "Look, I don't know what you want, but..."

"What I want?" The man had Barney backing away as much as he could, ending up with his back against a wall and nowhere to go. Not that he'd have gotten far even if he could run away, he wasn't allowed to leave the room. "I'll tell you what I want, Stinson. Payback."

* * *

When their Aunt Robin didn't say anything else, the kids could just stare at her and wonder why the story ended so abruptly. "I don't think your father would like me to tell you any details about the rest, but... Let's just say Barney took quite a beating and maybe... Maybe a bit more than just quite a beating. He wasn't very specific about that." Robin explained, shifting uncomfortably. The memory was really getting to her. She remembered sitting across from him, seeing his facade of awesomeness cracking for a second and allowing her a glance to how truly scared he was, and it was not something she cared to think about.

"Skip that part, please, Robin." Ted asked, his voice somber. His mood only shifted when he realized that there was no protest from the kids, who usually complained and asked for more gory details whenever he decided that something wasn't very age appropriate (aside from his sexual escapades, in that case they usually called him out on giving them too much information). It seemed like they really were shaken.

"Alright..."

* * *

All Robin could do was to stare at Barney and try not to show any unwelcome emotions for fear that he'd close up again or laugh and say that it was a lie when she knew - she wasn't sure how, but she just knew - that it was true. "But you're fine now?" She asked and, at Barney's slightly disappointed look, she moved a little closer to the glass, putting on a bit of a more flirty look and voice. "There's no use in having a bruise like that if you can't get some action..."

That seemed to considerably uplift Barney's spirits, and though Robin was happy to see him smile after the story he'd just told her, she couldn't help but wonder how miserable he was to be so affected by one little comment. They had to get him out of there even if he was, from what Ted had said, guilty of all charges. Barney wasn't dangerous, he shouldn't be locked up. Maybe if Robin were one of those people reading the papers, reading what they wrote about Barney, she would think that he deserved whatever he got, but she knew Barney, and she couldn't stand seeing him like this.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when Barney spoke again. "But there's one problem... I know this guy. He represented a big corporation Altru- GNB made a few deals with. I tricked them into signing the papers that led them to bankruptcy. That's what he meant by 'you can't go around ripping other people off.'"

"So he's looking for revenge for what you did to the company? Barney, this... This could be serious! He already..." Even Robin couldn't hide how much this scared her. If this man really was looking for revenge, then he wouldn't stop so soon. Barney was in big trouble.

A nod told her he knew that, and although his face was completely calm, his eyes showed that he was much, more more terrified than Robin could ever be for him.

* * *

"And that concludes the story of my visit." She finished, leaning back on her seat as she did so.


	9. All Night Long

**Author's note:** Thank you for your review, ImperiumWife!

**Disclaimer:** Just a little reminder that I don't own HIMYM, neither do I own the quote I used in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Nine - All Night Long**

The tension in the room wasn't as high as it'd been before, but both Ted and Robin were still mostly stuck inside their own minds, and the kids were taking their time to absorb everything that they'd just been told. In what they guessed couldn't have been much more than an hour, they'd learned that Barney had been arrested, charged with treason, and now it seemed like the trouble wasn't going to end there. Compared to the fluffy, funny stories they were used to hear, this was quite a shock. "So..." Luke finally broke the silence. "What happened? Did that man give him any more trouble?"

Had the situation been different, Ted would have laughed at that. The kids that once dreaded story-time now just couldn't wait to see how things turned out. "No spoilers this time." Ted contested, shaking his head. Everything would be said when the time was right, they just had to be patient. "Now, let's get back on track." It was time to go back to the main storyline. Sure, Robin and him could tell the kids all about every single visit they'd had with Barney, they could tell them several anecdotes, but they couldn't escape the fact that sooner or later, they'd have to continue. "We were all trying our best to get Barney out of this mess..."

* * *

What time was it? They'd all given up on caring. In the beginning, weeks ago, they'd tried to keep somewhat of a schedule, leaving enough time for sleep and whatever other activities they might desire (like "pre-sleep activities", about which Marshall and Lily were very secretive), but it never worked out. On the second day already, they stayed up until four in the morning because they couldn't bring themselves to go to sleep when every second could count, and by the end of the week, Marshall had already gotten in late at work thrice and Lily fell asleep while looking at her kindergarteners pictures enough times to have them ask her if it was past her nap time.

They'd told themselves that life could go on as usual no matter what, that they could go down to MacLaren's every day and have a few drinks before heading back to continue their work, but that was all an illusion, a dream they could never achieve. They couldn't help but think of Barney every time they saw someone try to chat up a girl, or even when Robin ordered a Scotch, especially the few times when she smelled of cigars. Nothing would be normal again, not until they had Barney back at the table with them.

Sleep threatened to overcome Ted as he tried to focus on the books that Marshall had lent him and his mind drifted off to everything they'd done the past few weeks, all the studying, all the all-nighters, everything. He thought he'd be used to it by now, but he wasn't. With a sigh, he flipped a page and tried to make his sigh clear up enough for him to be able to make out the little blurs he could have sworn were letters just seconds before. "No rest for the wicked..." He murmured to himself.

Why was the table vibrating? Ted was fairly sure that it wasn't supposed to do that. His hand automatically went searching for the source of that annoying movement, and after a few seconds, he realized that it was his cellphone. Right, someone was calling him. That made sense. "Marshall?" Ted asked, having managed to read the caller ID despite how ridiculously bright it seemed.

"Hey, Ted... I... I managed to get my hands into some of the files GNB is using against Barney and I... I don't think there's any way around it. If they hand this in... That's it. I was up all night trying to find a way around it, but..." All sleep left Ted's body and mind the moment those words reached his ears, but despite that, he just couldn't seem to absorb the information he was being given. No, this couldn't be true. After weeks of research, it couldn't end like this.

To his surprise, Marshall didn't press him. He didn't ask if Ted was still there, he didn't tell him to say something, he didn't even make a sound. But still, the fact that a response was necessary was undeniable. "Meet me at MacLaren's tomorrow, bring the papers. I'm... I'm going to catch up on some sleep, you should do the same. Barney needs us, man. We have to stay sharp." Being practical sounded better than thinking at that moment, because thinking meant acknowledging the fact that maybe they wouldn't be able to help their friend after all.

"Yeah, sure. Sleep." All either of them could hear was the other's breathing, and the silence seemed even worse than talking, somehow. Still, no words could seem to leave their lips for a long while. "Goodnight, Ted." Marshall finally said.

"Goodnight." Like anything could be qualified as good at that moment, Ted thought bitterly.

* * *

A small laugh coming from their father made the kids almost jump in surprise. It wasn't an amused laugh, but the kids still wondered how he be laughing in a part of the story like that when he'd been all but sulking through even lighter parts. "The thing I remember most vividly about that night was a dream I had..."

_The lights in the room were all off, but somehow, Ted could see. And he saw Barney in front of him, Bro Code in one hand and a judge hammer on the other, suited up for some sort of very important occasion. He was in every way the same Barney he'd known for years and years, but at the same time, he was different - he looked more scared, more stressed than usual. "You know what to do, Ted. It's all in here." The Bro Code floated from Barney's hand to the table that had just appeared there._

_"Barney, I don't..." Before he could finish his sentence, the little book opened itself up. Pages flipped quickly by themselves, not allowing Ted even one good glance at them, and a strange light started shining from it, inviting Ted to take a better look. Hesitantly, took a peek inside._

_Images flashed before his eyes, snippets of memories, some important and some that he didn't even know he had, but all as vivid as if they were being made at that moment. Ted tried to understand what the pattern was between them, what they all had in common, and why Barney thought he should see them, but he really had no idea. The only thing that they all seemed to share was the fact that Barney was in them._

_"I don't understand." He called out, trying to get his friend's attention. What was Barney trying to show him? "Can't you just tell me, Barney? Come on, bro, this is your life we're talking about! I'm just asking for one straightforward answer!"_

_There was no answer, but one last memory came bubbling to the surface._

_"You know how I've got a guy for everything? Well, they're all in New York. My suit guy, my shoe guy, my ticket guy, my club guy… And if I don't have a guy for something I have a guy guy to get me a guy. And oddly enough, his name is Guy."_

"And when I woke up, I knew what to do."


	10. One Rule

**Author's note:** Thank you ImperiumWife and Elle Evelynn for your reviews! This chapter might be a little bit rushed because I wanted to get it out soon...

* * *

**Chapter Ten - One Rule**

"Kids, sometimes the moment you most need an idea to come is the moment it hides deep inside your brain and no matter how much you try to find it, it doesn't show up. But the cure to that might be right under you nose. In my case, it was sleep..."

* * *

When Ted asked Marshall to meet with him at MacLaren's, he hadn't really thought it through. Did the bar even open in the morning? They'd never tried to go there so early, never, much because they should be at work, but neither one of them even considered skipping this meeting. They all knew what it was about, Marshall had filled them in just as soon as he'd managed to reach them. Lily was the first to know, as usual, even before Ted, and Robin had just been woken up with the bad news.

It was quite a surprise to find it open when he all but stumbled through the door, anxious to see Marshall tell him his idea, but what was even more surprising was to find that neither Carl none any of the waitresses were around. How could MacLaren's be open if none of the staff was around? Ted shrugged that off, deciding that he had more important things to worry about, and sat down with his friends on the booth.

"Hey Ted." Marshall greeted tiredly, stifling a yawn. At Ted's inquisitive look, he let out a bit of a sigh. "I tried to sleep, but I couldn't, so I came down to MacLaren's just as Carl was leaving and I... I had a few drinks, told him the story. He left me the keys."

After a long pause, Ted nodded. So that explained how MacLaren's was open so early in the morning. However, his mind couldn't focus on how strange it was that Carl would just give Marshall the key, it couldn't focus on anything but the idea that'd come to him in his sleep and that he feared might slip his mind like a dream. He had to get it out there soon, just in case anything happened. "Guys, I think... No, Marshall, you first."

All eyes turned towards the lawyer, and he pulled a few papers from the briefcase he'd brought to the bar and set them on the table where everyone could see them. "They don't make much sense, there must be something that complements them that I couldn't get my hands into, but... Even by themselves, they're enough evidence to... To prove that Barney's guilty. He's mentioned by name here..." Marshall pointed towards a sentence on the paper. "And here..." He showed them another one. "And that's not all of it." Marshall flipped through a few papers until he found the one he was looking for. "He signed this deal. It's unmistakable, that's Barney's signature."

Silence took over the group as they passed the paper among themselves, taking their time to see the signature that they recognized so well, almost trying to find something that was different about it. There was no way around it, though, it was Barney's. Everything was right, from the inclination of the letters to the little detail no one ever noticed on B. "What does it say?" Lily asked, frowning as she tried to understand all the legal and business terms used. "Wait, is this..."

Marshall snatched the paper from his wife and quickly put it back into the briefcase. "The less details you know about this the better, Lily." He already knew much more than he wanted to. Barney had once told him that he knew too much about GNB's secrets to get fired, but that hadn't gotten him much, had it? He wasn't fired, sure, but he himself had said that he might one day wash ashore with no face, nothing that identified him, and now he was in prison.

"That's... That's bad." Ted sighed. "But I think I might have some good news." All eyes turned to him as he sat up straighter to finally get his idea out in the open. "Yesterday I got this idea... Barney always has a guy for everything, right? I think we might be able to find a guy to get him out of jail."

Everyone looked at him like he'd just grown a third head, but Ted ignored it, too caught up on his fantasy world where everything was going to work out just fine to realize that his friends didn't think his idea was as brilliant as he believed it was. "Think about it - on the movies, there's always someone who can get the hero out, no matter how solid the evidence is. If there's someone on the real world who can do that, it's one of Barney's guys. You remember how sketchy even his tailor was, don't you? It's worth a try."

For a second, it looked like everyone was going to contest, but in the end, they all nodded. Anything that could get Barney out of this mess was worth a try, no matter how improbable it sounded. "Alright, then, I'll go talk to Barney today and get Guy's number."

"Don't you think he'd have called him already if he knew this guy?" Robin asked, startling the group. They'd all almost forgotten that Robin was there. She was so quiet, so withdrawn, so unlike herself, that it was easy to miss her.

"I don't think Barney knows the guy. But he knows someone who might. Guy, the guy guy."

* * *

It was only as Ted paused for a second that he realized that the kids had stopped paying attention to the story and focused on Robin instead, who was shifting uncomfortably, unhappy to be put on the spotlight for once. She remembered that conversation they'd had at MacLaren's, of course, and so she remembered very well why she'd been so withdrawn, but she didn't want to talk about it.

"Uhm, kids?" Ted called their attention back to him and to the story, effectively buying Robin some time to recompose herself. "I'm going to skip a few hours and the visit to Barney - nothing interesting happened, I wasn't there for even five minutes - and I'll just jump to when I went to where Barney said I could find all his backup things."

* * *

It was hard to imagine that Barney had ever had a one-bedroom, minuscule apartment, but when he'd given Ted the directions, he'd specifically told his friend that it was his old apartment, which was no longer under his name and therefore free from any police investigations. What he'd done to keep it but have it under another name, Ted didn't know and didn't even want to ask.

The apartment might have been small, but that didn't say anything about the amount of things in it. Every corner seemed to be filled with things that ranged from a few spare pieces of old memorabilia to things that could only be work related, and none of them seemed to follow any kind of pattern, like Barney was always in a hurry when he deposited things there. One full hour must have passed before the metallic glint of the box Ted was looking for caught his eyes. Not wanting to lose it in the mess again, he pulled it from under its pile, barely noticing as a little book fell into his lap.

Ted was about to put it aside when the golden letters that were engraved on its cover caught his attention. _Bros before Hos_.


	11. The Folder

**Author's note:** Thank you ImperiumWife and HIMYM Lovah so much for your reviews!

Now that we may be starting to approach the end (I'm not making any promises since I sometimes drag stories out for much longer than I could have imagined), I have another question to ask my lovely readers: do you want a happy ending or not? I have several ideas on how to end it, but I want to know what your preferences are!

* * *

**Chapter Eleven - The Folder**

"Bros before Hoes?" Luke asked, a bit surprised by this revelation. Beside him, his sister sat up straighter and leaned forward in a show of curiosity. "You didn't mention this one before, right? We heard about the Bro Code, the Playbook, but not this one."

Robin tried to pitch in with the answer to their question, but Ted signaled for her to keep quiet. This part of the story wasn't so hard to tell, and he'd been alone for it, which meant that Robin's account of what happened wouldn't be as accurate as Ted's. "Kids, you know that Barney always liked writing..."

* * *

It was usually almost impossible to tell because of how hard Barney tried to hide it, but Ted eventually came to the conclusion that Barney really enjoyed writing. He'd made up the whole Bro Code, which was rather thick; he'd written the Playbook, and he updated his blog every time he got a chance. Why would he do all that if he didn't at least like writing?

With that in mind, Ted flipped the little book over and over in his hands, trying to figure out what it was without opening it and possibly being scarred for life. What if that was something like Barney's scrapbook of all the girls he'd ever slept with? But aside from the golden engraving of the title, there was nothing else that indicated what was waiting for him inside the dark leather cover.

Maybe the smartest thing, considering the nature of several of the papers that Ted had found in the room, would have been to put the book aside and just take Guy's card, but it was hard to resist the temptation of taking just a little peek into the pages, a little peek into Barney's thoughts - there was nothing more Barney than the things he wrote. Before Ted even realized what he was doing, his eyes were scanning the first page, taking in the handwritten note that looked so out of place in the old-fashioned book.

* * *

In a mimic of his memory, Ted slowly opened the little book that was still sitting on his lap, also barely realizing his action. He knew what was written there, he remembered every word and could recite them easily, but he knew that Luke and Leia would much rather see it with their own eyes. After a moment of hesitation, he handed the book, already open on the right page, to the kids.

_Even the most awesome of people makes mistakes. Yes, I said it, awesome is also susceptible to the horrors of mistakes. It seems like in the last few weeks, I have been on a streak, and not the good kind, but I may never be able to make up for it because the last of my mistakes may lead me to a rather... Quick end. _

_So if you're someone looking for advice from the great Barney Stinson, I have only one thing to say to you: drop this book, buy a suit and go read my blog, it'll teach you everything you need to know about being awesome if it doesn't come naturally to you; and if you're Lily, Marshall or Robin, make sure to carry out the Stinson legacy even though you're not Stinsons. But if you're Ted (which I doubt you are, because getting to this book would involve actually talking to me)... I'm sorry._

"Dad... So he knew? Before he was arrested, he knew that he was in trouble?" Leia asked, glancing from the book to her father with a bit of a confused look on her face. If Barney had known what could happen, why hadn't he told anyone? Why hadn't he already started working on a way of getting out of jail?

Ted nodded, letting out a bit of a sigh. "Yeah, he did. Now... Take a look at the rest of the book." As the memory of reading those same words his kids were now taking in came to his mind, he decided he might as well tell that part of the story.

* * *

Reading any further would be wrong, wouldn't it? This was obviously something private, something Barney never meant for anyone to find. But his friend had addressed him directly on his note and he'd never said anything to stop him from reading the book, which meant that he didn't care if Ted took a peek at the rest, right? Either that or he knew that it wouldn't matter what he said, whoever had the book would keep on reading if they were curious.

With that thought in mind, Ted put the book aside and went back to searching for Guy's number in the mess of contact cards and handwritten phone numbers that was inside the box he'd retrieved from Barney's old apartment. He had no right to read it and that was it, there was no arguing about it. Surely he could resist the temptation?

No, he couldn't, just like he couldn't resist the temptation of taking a peek at it in the first place. In a matter of seconds, it was open on his lap, the second page looking up at him, taunting him to read it, and like he already knew he would from the moment he saw the title of the little book, he allowed himself to be taken over by curiosity. If Barney didn't respect his privacy, why should he offer him that courtesy?

At first, Ted was even a bit frustrated. It was just another book of Barney's, this time lecturing on a bro's proper conduct when regarding a situation between a girl and another bro, something that, as Ted thought back to it, had been one of his friend's main topics of conversation on the few weeks preceding their fight. But then what explained his opening note? Had this been on purpose, to build up some kind of expectation that he could later crush? There was no denying the fact that it did sound like something Barney would do.

When Ted reached the blank pages, he rolled his eyes in annoyance. Typical Barney, playing tricks like that, making you struggle with yourself over reading something that was clearly private and then not putting any personal information inside. Irritated, Ted quickly flipped through the remaining pages, not expecting to find anything. But he did.

**_Barney's (awesome, of course) death folder_**

_If you're still reading, then I'm assuming you're either Ted, Marshall, Lily or Robin, most likely all four. Well... You've found my - wait for it - death folder. Alright, so it's not literally a folder, but I decided to innovate. New is always better._

_A few days ago, I was remembering the time when Marshall and Lily got married and they made their death folders, which was a compilation of all important information the other spouse could need if the first spouse died, in case you don't remember, and I thought that it was about time I started working on mine, since you never know when your awesomeness will catch up with you and overwhelm you to the point of death. Of course, I don't have a spouse (I plan on being awesome until my dying day, after all), so I guess this death folder is for the four of you and my family._

_Anyway, here you should find everything you'll need in the event of my death, though I'm betting I'm the one who's going to have to find your death folders, because everyone knows the most awesome is the one to die last._

A death folder? Ted couldn't believe that Barney would actually feel the need to make a death folder. Marshall and Lily were understandable, since they were married and there'd be a lot for the other one to take care of if one of them died, but Barney? Ted couldn't help but find the timing a bit strange, though there was no telling when this had actually been written.

Pages and pages were filled with all the normal things - bank numbers, accounts to cancel, numbers to call, a will, everything you could need to close a person's affairs. Although Barney had clearly made that as impersonal as possible, Ted couldn't help but feel a little depressed reading all that and imagining what it'd be like to have to deal with all that, with not having Barney around ever again. How could he ever have considered living his life without his best friend (no, second best friend), his wingman, by his side?

Ted flipped through the pages, barely even reading anything because he kept telling himself that he didn't need to know any of that, that Barney would be fine in the end. What could possibly bring the Barnacle down, after all? It was then that he reached a different page, one that was, once again, handwritten, and he started to understand the initial note.

_I was going to post this on my blog, but I... I can't. I really can't. I think someone should know, though, eventually. It's only fair. Maybe my mother, my brother, the gang... Someone should know what happened, no matter what goes down from here. This knowledge won't bring them any good, but perhaps it'll give them a sense of peace, of understanding. After I'm gone, unless they try to bring Altrucel down, it won't put them in any danger. Don't try to bring Altrucel down! It's too dangerous! I knew what I was getting into in the first place, I knew it when they hired me. I knew it was probably going to end like this. I've got no one to blame but myself. Even the awesome Barney Stinson makes mistake every once in a while, and I'm not going to lie, I love my job. It's every bit as awesome as you think it is until you screw up. Then, there's a little downfall... But I knew that, I always knew that. It was all but written on the contract when I signed it. It's my own fault._

Years and years of dealing with Barney were all what allowed him to be sure that his friend knew how deeply this went when he wrote that note, and that he was terrified. His writing was somewhat shaky, though it was contained, and his wording was strange, almost like the wording of an average person. There wasn't a joking background, there wasn't a crazy explanation or exaggeration, nothing, just the truth, and Ted couldn't imagine how bad things would have to be for Barney to write this, to show this other side of him that he only let out every once in a while.

Shaking, Ted turned the page. Everything from there on was handwritten, like Barney hadn't had time to write it on his computer and print it out, and the information that he was being given was of a much more sensitive nature. There was data on some of GNB's most secret deals (though Barney, by some reason Ted failed to understand, kept calling the corporation Altrucel), bank accounts, contacts, and finally, there was some information on what had happened that had gotten Barney arrested, though Ted had to admit that he couldn't quite understand it. He'd have to show it to Marshall.

The last page was what Ted least expected: the letter.

* * *

"It's not here." The kids pointed out, showing their dad the little bits of paper that were still attached to the book, the only indication that another page ever existed. "What happened to the letter, Dad?" Leia asked. "You're not going to tell us right now, are you?"

Ted just gave them a bit of a smirk, not saying anything in reply. They already knew that they weren't going to get any spoilers. "Kids, after I was done reading everything Barney had written down in his death folder, I was completely convinced that one of his guys would be ideal to get him out of jail, so I hunted down Guy's number and, in a matter of hours, I was already on the phone with the main guy in the whole country for this kind of thing."


End file.
